A New Year's Resolution

It's time to say good-bye. To another year yet gone by.

2008 is rapidly coming to an end, and boy am I glad to see it go. This year has brought too many downs and ups, causing an unsteady and bumpy ride. With another year passed I have learned some, grown some more, and embraced change. I never imagined in my wildest dreams last new year's eve, that this moment.. me sitting here typing this with all the things in my mind that are there, would happen. Some things remained constant.. and some became constant, and some I made constant - and for those I'm glad. The biggest lesson I learned this year was to let go, forgive, and move on. A life lesson worth learning I must say. I could say I did it alone, but in reality I know I didn't. I learned my lessons alone - and worked through them alone, but without wise words from friends and family, I would have never been able to accept situations. Denial has always been easier for me, what I don't realize or recognize, can't hurt right? I wish.. I think not seeing has hurt the most. But I still have faith, unbelievably so.. and that I would not let anyone take from me. Ever. People called me naiive, childish, too innocent - but they didn't realize that it's simply the way I portray myself. I'm not aggressive, nor obnoxiously powering, and quite frankly have no desire to be, and if that comes out as "naiive" than so be it. I have learned from it all, taken what I need, let go of everything that will bring me down, and moved forward to being innocent again. That is the life I want, the one I like. I don't want complications, drama, all the things that make me seem "mature" or "adult". That's bogus. Being able to go through anything, and retain my faith is what has made me stronger - on the inside. Where I need it the most. Hidden.

This year has felt like climbing a mountain. Difficult - but I got used to it. And finally - it's ending. 2009 is a year that will bring new beginnings. Of this I am sure. I'm embarking into a new year along with a new decade of my life. I know my 20s will bring all the changes I've wanted.. all the changes I feel ready for. I'm glad - in retrospect - for this year. Because before it, I was not prepared. I wouldn't have been able to handle the 20s or the situations I anticipate it bringing. I'm ready. Scared - but so ready. I'm steady, and confident, perhaps a bit foolish - but the way it is nonetheless.. because I know without this confidence I would never embrace my life. I'm shedding my childhood, perhaps a bit of my teenagehood - and moving on. I know what I want - and this is the year I'm going for it.. cautiously, yet surely! So there :)