Twilight

"How much do you like him?"
"Too much," I whispered back. "More than he likes me. But I don't see how I can help that."

"Do you truly believe that you care more for me than I do for you?" he murmured, leaning closer to me as he spoke, his dark golden eyes piercing.
...
"Yes I really think that." .. The silence dragged on..
...
Finally he spoke, voice velvet soft. "You're wrong."


MY goodness! It's like reading the modern Romeo and Juliet, although I surely hope Bella and Edward have no such fate! The scene from above takes place in a book I have recently delved into - Twilight by Stephenie Meyer. It's a thriller with a very strong sense of romantic and an underlying sense of witty/sarcastic humor weaved through and through.
My take on it so far:
I am absolutely adoring this book - for reasons obvious and not so obvious. Obvious - what girl doesn't like a novel with a not so perfect girl heroine who meets the guy of her dreams?? Not so obvious - I feel as if I'm living some of my emotions through the characters - especially of course Bella. I have to come to the realization that I no longer believe in fairy tales or fantasies. In my world, reality has taken over, and practicality reigns control. To the point where "prince charming" has been replaced by a down-to-earth vision of a practical, fitting partner - no white horse or such neccessary. But Bella Swan - she is this ordinary, quiet, shy senior in high school who has moved to a brand new town in a brand new setting with brand new people. And somehow in the midst of this she finds Edward Cullen - prince charming with a twist (I won't ruin the twist just in case..) She is in awe of him and totally dazzled when he takes an interest in her! She just simply never expects it. Now, when we think high school - most of us remember the lean chearleaders, and the over-muscular jocks - but who really remembers the quiet, "normal" girls? I was one of them and unlike Bella, my Edward never came - so I grew up. But reading this book makes me think.. if it can be written - if it came from someone's thoughts - a female of course - but nonetheless.. if this kind of dialogue and story can exist in books and movies - than why not real life? Our imaginations couldn't possibly be soooooooo creative that we come up with things so impossible as love? It has to exist.. I'm not saying for me.. now or ever.. but somewhere in this world the kind of depth expressed in such a book has to exist.. it just does.. somehow. I have given up on finding or even searching for anything fairy-talish.. but Bella hasn't, and I can sit here and read and read about it, feel with her what I will not feel in reality and in the end feel renewed. No wonder I like books so much - it's like they give me the things I don't want or have or can survive through in life. I am glad for Ms. Meyer's saga - and very happy for those out there who have seen, heard, or even first-hand witnessed this surge of emotions - it is things like this that renew my faith in life and love to some degree.
As a side note - I wish people.. guys.. like Edward existed - without the twist of course! - he somehow has the greatest control, the deepest passion, the right expression and the right words - all of course at the right time! Now, that perhaps is something reserved for the booky book world! ;)

Some Sound Advice

I received an e-mail today.
It contained a link:
http://www.universalresponse.info/?authcode=588_qs3h88py759z

And this is what I learned.. very appropriate timing I must say:

Questions from "God" were asked, and I answered what I felt, and these were the explanation I obtained from God...

1. What is the most difficult to find in life?
a. purpose of life
b. enough time
c. clarity of direction
d. peace of mind
My answer: d. peace of mind
Explanation I was given: Peace comes from living in the moment, looking for the good in others and letting go of fears. You are not peaceful because you choose to be sorrow long before you experience it.
My take on it: I've learned to live in the moment and forget what cannot be changed and what will become and is unknown; I do my best to stay positive and look for the good in others even besides all the cynisism in the world.. but where I fail and fall is the ability to let go of fears. My fears haunt me.. how do I let them go so easily?

2. What is the most challenging to deal with in life?
a. managing failures
b. staying positive
c. taking correct decisions
d. facing the unknown
My answer: a. managing failures
Explanation given: Failure is God's plan to prepare you for greater responsibilities. Try and fail but don't fail to try. Failure is a natural consequence of trying. Failure is the condiment that gives success its ultimate flavor.
My take on it: Faving the unknown was an answer I close to choosing.. but I think of late managing failures has become more of an obstacle. I understand that failure is needed to preceed success.. but what if in between morale is lost and a person fails to try? Will success ever be granted? Will success ever come without failure?

3. What is hard to let go in life?
a. your ego
b. your fears
c. your past
d. your worries
My answer: b. your fears
Explanation given: Fear is False Evidence Appearing Real. Don't allow your fears to grow bigger than your faith. When you fear you will suffer, you already suffer what you fear.
My take on it: Except for the ego answer, I wanted to choose all of them. Letting go seems to be my biggest flaw in all aspects.. but the hardest.. fears.. is the one I chose. My fears, now that I think about, are based on things that have already happened. So what am I so fearful of? It's like being afraid of something hot, until you touch it once, feel the heat, and know for the rest of your life not to touch that heat (like a hot iron). So, if I have already touched my fear, and I know to stay away from it, than why keep the fear itself around?

4. What is hard to be convinced about in life?
a. God exists
b. Prayers have power
c. Truth wins
d. Adversity helps
My answer: c. Truth wins
Explanation: Truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable. Always tell the truth. That way you don't have to remember what you said.
My take on it: This one is pretty straight forward.. I don't lie.. I can't actually.. I physically become sick if I do.. lol one of the mysteries of the universe. But I have faced those who run from the truth.. and from reality.. and I don't understand why? It is what it is. Be yourself.. Be true to yourself and those around you.. there is not better way to be.

The slideshow continued on with something about how everyone picks a different answer, yet no one is incorrect. We choose an answer based on where we are in life currently. The Universe is supposedly on our sides.. I don't think I believe that.. and is aligned with us to help us with whatever the current situation might be.. again I don't think I believe that. Too many wrongs happen in the world, to the environment, in politics.. even on a personal level.. for me to believe that the Universe is in harmony with us. I used to harp on a concept of perfect harmony many moons ago.. I still have a compilation of my thoughts on that.. but I have ceased to believe it can truly exist. Perhaps it does, but vaguely, and not in my reality. One of the things on this slide caught my special attention: "The events in your life mirror your beliefs"
Yes, they do. They always have. Hence, our beliefs change, events happen and are forgotten, different events happen.. the cycle goes on. Maybe that is why it is the circle - cycle - of life. People are gravitated towards others based on their "beliefs". However, according to this theory.. beliefs changed according to events. So, is this perhaps the explanation for the most common answer of failure, "People change". Perhaps we all have to be in constant motion. Losing and finding and moving on. Life is meant to be lived.. not dwelled upon.. perhaps we are all constantly changing - as much of an oxymoron as that is - and perhaps that is the only way the world can truly be where it is supposed to be.. even the Earth is moving.. the Universe.. all the planets.. so why not us?
Why not us?